


The Twelve Days of Croft

by Alexis_Rockford



Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Poetry, Christmas, Christmas Caroling, Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 06:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16867741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Rockford/pseuds/Alexis_Rockford
Summary: My idea of what Lara's ideal Christmas list would be. A parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas."Repost of a FF.net fic originally published in 2001, but newly reformatted.





	The Twelve Days of Croft

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
A brand new Uzi.  
  
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Two medi packs  
And a brand new Uzi.  
  
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,  
And a brand new Uzi.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,  
And a brand new Uzi.  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,  
And a brand new Uzi.  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Six rocket launchers,  
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,  
And a brand new Uzi.  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Seven cans of air freshener (for Winston's little problem)  
Six rocket launchers,  
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,   
And a brand new Uzi.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Eight Von Croy dartboards,  
Seven cans of air freshener,  
Six rocket launchers,  
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,   
And a brand new Uzi.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Nine sets of gun clips,   
Eight Von Croy dartboards,   
Seven cans of air freshener,  
Six rocket launchers,   
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,   
And a brand new Uzi.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Ten panes of new glass (to replace the ones the baddies broke at the end of TR2),  
Nine sets of gun clips,   
Eight Von Croy dartboards,   
Seven cans of air freshener,  
Six rocket launchers,   
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,   
And a brand new Uzi. 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me  
Eleven tins of Earl Grey (my favourite type of tea),   
Ten panes of new glass (to replace the ones the baddies broke at the end of TR2),  
Nine sets of gun clips,   
Eight Von Croy dartboards,   
Seven cans of air freshener,  
Six rocket launchers,   
Five spandex tops!  
Four days in China,  
Three artifacts,  
Two medi packs,   
And a brand new Uzi. 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love (who is he anyway?) gave to me  
Twelve books on judo,  
Eleven tins of Earl Grey (I'll never have to send Winston to the store again),  
Ten panes of new glass (what will I do with the extra ones?),  
Nine sets of gun clips,  
Eight Von Croy dartboards (these will last me about a week),  
Seven cans of air freshener (ditto),  
Six rocket launchers,  
Five spandex tops (I wonder why he bought me these!)  
Four days in China (I'll be there all year!),  
Three artifacts (did he steal them from a museum?),  
Two medi packs (these will last about an hour),   
And a brand new Uzi. 


End file.
